Against All Odds
by Ezra
Summary: Jou relfects upon his coping methods. {Warnings: Implied J/S shounen-ai and lots of Symbolism} {One-Shot}


Ezra: Dark, depressing, Don't read if you don't want to feel like *blah* at the end

{Warnings: Implied J/S shounen-ai and lots of Symbolism}

{Against The Odds}

{One-Shot}

I can't tell you how it's going to end. I can't even tell you when. But I can tell you it does. Everything ends eventually. Even things that outlast us will eventually end. Heat death? Mortal death? It's still the same thing.

And I finally realized it. I realized it a long time ago. So I sat, and I thought. Thought deeper than I ever knew I could. And, my final conclusion was that, we really are all alone. No one cares. The world continues on even if you're grieving, ...if someone's grieving for you. 

Yugi's grandfather died a couple years back. I remember him asking me once how I could so cheerful all the time. And that's when I realized it. Why was I always so cheerful? Why am I still cheerful now? Even though my thoughts could eventually overwhelm me. 

And I think it's because of him. Because of my rival. Because we're on opposite ends of the same line. I finally found out the truth. We lived the same lives. We both lived with so much pain. So much heartache. But the final difference of it all, was how coped. Why we're on opposite ends of them same line.

But, It's obvious as to how we both coped. Him with the hard exterior, mine with laughter. Laughter's always the best medicine. 

Maybe not.

And as I sit now, I think about how much we fought, how different we both were; and I found that it was fruitless. That it was stupid, and annoying, and pointless.

But that's we both lived for. It was the one constant in our lives, the one thing we could both depend on. The one thing we needed, to keep going.

I guess that's why we ended up signing a death warrant when I kissed him.

I can remember it like it just happened. It was really cold. Really windy. I had been thinking a lot that day. Too much maybe. It could have been the reason I didn't have my coat. So there I was, walking down the street, wind thrashing around me. I didn't know he was there. I couldn't have known. 

I ran into him.

It heat felt so nice for the moment, but I back away quickly, and put on my glare. I needed it. I needed my little bit of sanity. My mind was going crazy.

But I didn't really see his face. He was staring at the ground. 

No, look back up at me. Please. Please...

He finally does. He's glaring. But I just can't do it anymore. I stopped glaring.

"I can't keep doing this," I say. 

__

'I'm so tired of living.'

"I just can't do it anymore."

__

'I'm...tired of the shit.'

"I'm just so tired.."

__

'Help please.'

...I hoped he caught the real meaning. But, even if he didn't, he didn't smack me away when I walked forward and lay my head on his shoulder. I turned my head into his neck and just stood there. I made no move to put my arms around him. No movement at all.

That is until I felt a raindrop on my head. Then two more. I turned my head up to the sky, and the rain began to pour. A few landed in my eye and I turned my head quickly into his chest. And then I felt a hand on my cheek. Oh, were you really going to start this?

I turn my head to look into his eyes. And I finally notice. They're dead. Gray. His face is so pale and neutral it's scary. And all I want to do is crush him to me and never let go. 

But that can't happen. It wouldn't ever happen. So, I place a hand on his chest, and lean up. I push my lips onto his and wait. He's not responding. I shut my eyes, and push harder. And then I feel the hand on my cheek go into my hair, and he pushed harder into me.

And we just stood there, kissing in the rain. And at the same time, we were both strapping in for the ride to hell. He knew I wouldn't be able to fight with him after this.

He flicked his tongue out. I knew I could never fight with him after this. But I responded. Because I really was tired. I didn't want my reason for living anymore. So, we did what anyone would do. We got rid of it.

A hand went around my back, and I slid my arms around his neck. And rain kept pouring. And we kept going. 

I felt a fear in me, that when we stopped, he'd kill himself. We'd changed now. And, it scared me so much. But the rain kept pouring.

He finally stopped and froze. He put his hands on to my chest, and pushed hard. I landed on the ground, and stared back up at him. 

No, we couldn't fight now. He'd changed things.

I smirked up at him. He kicked me in the stomach.

"It's not going to work you know. You've lost it now. We both have." 

He knew what I meant.

He just stared down at me. I stared at him. He was soaked. Head to toe, soaked. His shirt clung to him. So did his pants...

"You've ruined it now," I told him. And then I started laughing. It wasn't funny. But I laughed. He just stared down at me more.

I couldn't recognize my laugh. It scared me. I hadn't heard myself laugh truly for so long. Or was I forcing myself? I couldn't really tell. It's what happens when you laugh to cope with things.

"Stop laughing."

I stopped, but I still smiled, "Now look at what you've done." I shake my head.

And then he walked away.

During school, he would always try to fight. He'd start something. But, I'd finish it. In the janitor's closet. 

Everyday, I could see him whither more and more. Was I withering too? Did he have to watch me? 

I guess I'll never know though.

I lean my head on his tombstone. 

No, I'll never know. If I saw him again, I'll be sure to ask him.

It wont be too long now.

Watch out for me, Kaiba. I'll be heading your way soon.

-_-_-

Ezra: ...=) Well. That's nice a depressing. I know I should be working on Q23, but, blah, this just came to me. I had to write it. ...Too much Phil Collins... XD

Betty: Review!


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